Postpartum is hard.
Here are some things I found that made it less hard.
And in particular, the online support groups that are free:
I was fortunate to join one of these support groups at the exact right time for me. I talked to other women, realized I was not alone in my feelings OR in my circumstances, and it gave me the push I needed to reach out to my family doctor to say that something wasn’t right.
Mama Awakened
https://www.instagram.com/mamaawakened/
https://www.facebook.com/mamaawakenedyoga/
Sarah is a yoga teacher, which is a woefully inadequate description. I joined her Mom & Baby yoga class and at the first class, as we went around the room introducing ourselves, I basically said ”Oh hi new friends, I have postpartum depression” and then talked a bit about our journey and cried. Sarah skillfully holds space for moms who are new to matrescence, moms who are struggling with matrescence, and includes thoughtful movement in her classes to help ”unstick” the energy and stagnation we store in our bodies. Her classes made me feel safe both physically and mentally, even during the pandemic, and I’m so grateful that we had the opportunity to attend.
Antea Corluka, RN, BScN
https://themamacoach.com/coaches/antea-corluka/
Antea is a WIZARD. She is also an A+ kind human. I had written to her in the depths of postpartum (around 8 weeks) because I was considering hiring a postpartum coach. I didn’t end up hiring anyone then, because it was too early to sleep train, we’d had quite a lot of feeding support, and I didn’t really know what it was that I needed. If I could go back in time I would tell early-postpartum Kate to make the damn appointment! You don’t need to carry this alone, or spend every spare minute googling what to do next. It is OKAY to let someone with experience help you figure out what to do for your baby (in an up-to-date, evidence-informed way). Antea responded to my email with so much compassion and kindness at a time that I really needed it.
We hired Antea formally when our baby was about 4.5 months old for sleep training (the More Than Sleep plan). In the two weeks we had with her, there was an initial phone call and emailed sleep plan, followed by two weeks of email support, then a final sleep plan going forward. In that time we went from frequent night wakeups, a bit of co-sleeping (as safely set up as possible), and daytime chaos to 2 crib naps, one nap on the go, and baby sleeping nights alone in his crib with no wakeups, or sometimes waking up but not crying out, just chilling and babbling until he went back to sleep.
Other things that really helped postpartum:
- My family doctor
- Medication
- Sleep
- Therapy
- Lowering my expectations for myself
- Taking the pressure off to ”bounce back”
- Letting family and friends help – meals, holding the baby, giving us time to get a proper shower or meal, etc.
- Finding a supportive group of friends, including friends with babies around the same age as mine
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